Audrey III the Rhubarb Plant- butchered into scrumption

Remember Audrey III, my overgrown rhubarb plant?  The one that I “butchered” today, wielding my chef’s knife as a machete as I braved the mosquito jungle of her dark, dank leaves.  Much as I am opposed to violence against others, I steadfastly ignored the “screams of the vegetables” as I forged on in pursuit of her tartly tasty stalks.

Although Audrey III was much subdued after her minor haircut, she was still bushy enough to politely demand that I “feed [her] Seymore, feed [her]!”

But what to do with all the lovely rhubarb I had (three cookie sheets piled a foot high with stalks as big around as my arm) ?  I had already made Rhubarb Apple-Betty, and Rhubarb muffins.  It was time for something new….

Almond Rhubarb Coffee Cake!

I couldn’t believe this cake!  I was skeptical- I know coffee cakes as being kind of dry and crumbly creations, the kind you trot out for company and don’t make regularly.  Boy was I wrong!  The cake is soft and moist, with the chunks of rhubarb giving it a pleasant tartness (the rhubarb mellows out as it cooks, resulting in a tartness similar to a Granny Smith apple).  My favourite part is the streusel- I highly recommend eating this cake from the bottom up, saving the best for last. 

Almond Rhubarb Coffee Cake

Cake
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup plain “natural” yoghurt (also known as Greek, or gelatin free)
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg or substitute
1 orange’s worth of grated zest
1 tbsp orange juice
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole-wheat flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup buttermilk, or milk substitute
3 cups rhubarb, chopped into thumb-tip sized chunks
1/2 cup almonds, chopped
Streusel
1 tbsp melted butter or margarine (trans fat free, please!)
1/3 cup white sugar
1/4 cup almonds, chopped
1 orange’s worth of grated zest
1 tsp flour

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 10 in round cake pan (or whatever floats your boat- just don’t make it too small or you’ll be sorry!)
2. With electric mixer, beat together oil, yoghurt, and sugars. Add egg, zest, and orange juice. Don’t overbeat the egg or the cake will fall!
3. Combine the flours with the salt and baking soda. Add this, then the milk. Beat in the rhubarb and the almonds. Pour into the greased cake pan.
4. In a separate bowl, combine the streusel ingredients until it’s kind of crumbly. Sprinkle over the top of the cake.
5. Bake in the oven for 40 minutes. Check it then-the middle probably won’t be done, but this is when the edges of my cake started getting really done. If this is happening to you, cover the edges loosely with tinfoil and put the cake back into the oven for approximately 15 minutes (sorry for the loose instructions- I just got a new oven and it’s taking me a bit to figure things out). Test with a toothpick to see if it’s done.
6. Don’t get a tummy-ache when you devour it!

 I took half of this cake to a friend’s house for tea, and their teenaged son was home (wait, I sound old here- I’m a teen too!)  Anyways, he took it to the kitchen to get plates whilewent to change into my bathinsuit.  Next thing I know, I hear him raving to himself about how delicious it was- he didn’t know I could hear him!  Didn’t take long for us to utterly devour the half-cake, and there was a fight over who got the crumbs off the cake platter.  Definitely a crowd pleaser!

The First Crop of Summer, and What I’ve Been Doing Lately

I haven’t written in a while.  It was a toss up between studying for exams and writing here, and, well, something had to fall by the wayside.  Then I moved house, with all the packing and unpacking that entails.  Let’s just say it’s been a busy month.

However, I’m all settled in now and I love my new house.  Why do I love it?  Let me count the ways…

First off, there’s a beautiful convection oven that is an absolute dream for baking cookies, muffins, breads…  After my horrible apartment sized oven and stove, it’s quite the revelation to bake on two shelves at the same time!  As you can see, I’ve been making use of it:

Carrot-Oatmeal muffins with chocolate chips, raisins, craisins, and pumpkin seeds (recipe from one of the Anne Lindsay Lighthearted Cookbooks).  They have a pleasantly firm texture, without being dense- the kind of muffin you can throw into a lunchbag and still enjoy later without it being reduced to soggy crumbs.

 Chocolate chip cookies (recipe from the back of the chip package- which I threw away and then went digging through mucky garbage for because they were really good cookies!)

Secondly, I love my house because I finally have a garden.  A lovely vegetable garden, with peas, beets, two different types of lettuce, potatoes, herbs (including mint, basil, thyme, rosemary, and chives), and rhubarb.  I have a couple stories to tell about that rhubarb (of which I will fondly refer to as Audrey III, the vegetative star of the cult classic “Little Shop of Horrors”.)  Anyways, it’s a beautiful feeling to go out just before dinner and pick some salad greens right out of the garden.  Five minutes out of the ground, the lettuce is tender and almost buttery on the tongue- a far cry from the wilted store bought heads that are so popular!

Black Bean Burgers from How it All Vegan (made with Romano beans and extra chopped up veggies- because you really can never have too many veggies!)  The bed of greens that it’s sitting on is composed of baby beet leaves (the beets needed thinning, and the leaves are edible) and fresh picked lettuce.  The sprouts on top come from my very own kitchen counter- who needs the overpriced supermarket ones?

Thirdly…the house has strawberry plants!  ‘Nuff said.

Grilled Veggie Salad

I have a new baby- no, not that kind of baby!  My baby is black and shiny, and nonstick.  My baby is Teflon.  And she is one sexy mama, grilling up all kinds of delectable vegetable and tofu wonderfulness in seconds (OK, minutes) flat.

For my lunch tomorrow, I fired up the pan and filled it with a delectable selectio of zucchini, asparagus, red peppers, and bok choy stems.   I served these grilled veggies on top of a bed of baby spinach, bok choy leaves, and chickpeas, and drizzled the lot with a homemade vinaigrette.  It was really hard not to devour the whole thing then and there!

Rainy Day Pancakes

It’s a dreary, dreary day outside.  After working inside for the last 3 or 4 days, when there was beautiful sunshine outside, I couldn’t face another day of yucky weather.  So, I made my own sunshine!

Rainy Day Waffles
1/2 cup oats (not instant)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sugar
2 tsp orange zest
1/8 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp vanilla
 1/2 cup water, orange juice, or milk of your choice
1/4 banana

Blenderize all ingredients. In a sprayed frying pan over medium heat, cook until done. Top with raspberries and remaining banana, or syrup and trans-fat free margarine. Enjoy!

I Dared to Dare the Daring Baker Challenge!

April’s been a busy month- between essays, work, training for two triathlons, and a 10K run, my kitchen time has been zilch. Nada.  Nil.

 

But I bent my culinary talents to April’s Daring Baker challenge- my first one!  It was promising from the start- I am a sucker for cheesecake, and these Cheesecake Pops didn’t seem too hard.  Basically, you bake a cheesecake and shape it into cute little shapes- the wilder, the better.  Stick a popsicle stick in ’em, freeze until they’re firm, and then dip in as many toppings as you can!

I ran into a couple of potholes along the way- first of all, there was no way I was going to convince my family that I had a desperate need for 5 blocks of cream cheese! So I cut the recipe down a bunch, but that led to the fact that there was also no way I’d buy an expensive pint of whipped cream just to use 2 tbsp worth.  So I used a little milk and a little olive oil instead.  Not exactly “following the directions” but hey, I’m cheap. 

By the time the cheesecake batter was poured into a baking paper lined pan (to prevent sticking), I knew these lollipops would be good.  A goodly portion of the batter had ended up in the nether recesses of my stomach!  The pan was slid into the oven and I settled down to lick the bowl.  On a whim, I decided to reread the directions and nearly had a heart attack when I read this: “Grease a 10-inch cake pan (not a springform pan) .“  In my blissful oblivion, I’d happily placed my very leaky springform pan in a waterbath!

 

Thankfully, it all turned out OK.  Baked without a waterbath, the cheesecake was still pale and uncracked.  After a spin in the fridge, it complied very nicely with being hacked into various shapes.  One handy thing I discovered is that dipping the knife in hot water between cuts makes nice, clean edges on the shapes.  The pops looked very pretty, dipped in chocolate and rolled in a selection of coconut, Oreo crumbs, crushed M&Ms, and non-pareils.  My family happily devoured their creamy, velvety goodness in seconds flat!

All in all, a complete success and wonderful experience for my first challenge!  I can’t wait ’till next month…

Can you guess?

The terrifying trial by Tempeh…
Was totally terrific!

Call me Tofu… Scrambled Tofu

 

Oh, sorry!  I didn’t see you come in.

But let me tell you, I’m glad we’re alone.  I can tell that in a moment, you’ll be devouring me in a hot and hasty, elbows on the table and no holds barred feeding frenxy. 

Yup, I’m scrambled tofu.  Lashed with guacamole and spiked with zesty salsa, I’m one sexy pita.

You know you love me.

Orange Chai La-la-la-la bars!

I have an apology to make.  I definitely deserve some sort of “Worst Blogger” award, due to my inexcusable lack of posts over spring break.  I promise I’ll try to make it up to you, dear readers (although judging by my blog stats, there are very few of you).

Perhaps the reason for the lack of posts is due to the utter un-photogenic-ness of all my cooking over spring break.  Fantasticall yummy dishes such as Sundried Tomato and Chickpea Soup, Applesauce-Raisin spice loaf, and St. Patrick’s Day muffins went unphotographed and unblogged because of their rather unappealing appearance…or just because I was lazy.

But I am back now, and decided to tie together two of my loves: food and sports.  I’m in training for 2 triathlons and a 10k run, and often find myself eating “on the run”, so to speak.  I’ve found myself buying more and more packaged “energy bars”, and my favourite brand, Larabar, was digging a deep hole in my bank account.  So I decided to make my own!

Using these posts by Bittersweet and Bunnyfoot as a guide, and inspired by some delicious chai meringues I made over the break, I threw this together in the whirlwind of before-school preparations.  Which perhaps explains the fact why I can’t remember the exact quantities.  But it tasted good!

Orange-Chai Lalala Bar
2 soft dates (~1 tbsp)
1 tbsp rolled oats
1 tsp bran
1/2 tsp flaxseed
1 tbsp sunflower seed
1/2 tsp wheatgerm
2 tsp raisins
1/2 tsp orange zest
2 tsp orange juice
Cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cardamon, and pepper to taste
Honey to taste

Squish up the dates by hand until they form a sticky, gooey mess. Add in the dry ingredients, squishing until it sticks together somewhat, and then add the OJ. Season with spices to taste. If it’s too wet, add a few more oats, and if it’s too dry, just add some more dates or OJ. There’s no exact science here people, it’s all a matter of personal preference. Enjoy!

And now, I’m off to the lovely bi-weekly grind of making disgusting sandwiches for the carnivorous masses. Chiao, baby!

Dapper Doughnuts

Although their doughnut-ness is dubious due to their deficiency of a doughnut hole, these dapper dough-nuts are dashingly delicious.  Phew!  All alliteration aside, these yummy baked doughnuts from the Vegan Yum Yum are absolutely amazing!  The outsides are crunchy, just like “real” doughnuts, and the insides are soft and fluffy. 

Flavoured with a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon, they remind me of the fairground dougnuts I’d always get at carnivals and the PNE.  I wasn’t sure how my family would react- they’re not usually ones for anything with flax- but between the four of us, we devoured all 18 of these babies in 5 minutes.  I barely managed to rescue one to get photos!

 Feeling rather simple in the dessert department, I skipped the Yum Yum’s suggestions of frosting these babies with frosting, or a chocolate glaze.  Instead, I just sifted a monster amount of powdered sugar over the tops of my doughnuts as soon as they came out of the oven.

 But why are the most delicious things the hardest to photograph?!? I’ve been running into this a lot lately- the “Fettucine Alfredo” from the Post Punk Vegan Kitchen cookbook, the bulgur, white bean, and fig pilaf I made for lunch, the scrambled tofu I made for breakfast…. They all made me roll my eyes in glee at their yumminess, but all the photographs came out looking like s***  Even these cutie pies took half an hour to come out looking moderately edible instead of like little piles of dung.  Maybe in the future I should just eat more, photograph less :)

Chocolate Love, and a thought on Anthony Bourdain

I’ve been reading a lot of Anthony Bourdain lately, and whatever anyone else says about him, I love reading his books because they put me in the mood to cook something, anything!  But what to make?  It wasn’t time for a meal, the freezer is already full of homemade bread and Apple-Cinnamon-Raison loaf…Aha! The cookie jar was empty!

This did, however present a perplexing problem to ponder.  Can’t make chocolate chippers, we just finished off a batch of those.  Can’t make anything too health-ish, or my siblings won’t eat it.  But we had half a jar of Nutella and a box of Rice Krispies…

Now, I’m sure that Mr. Bourdain must be rolling in his hypothetical grave (despite all he’s done, he’s still not quite dead yet and as such technically be buried) at this thought of horrific culinary sacrilige.  But then he’d be missing out, because these Chocolate Rice Krispy Squares from “How It All Vegan” are so damn good that I practically ate the pan, glass and all.  In my opinion, good food can be whatever the hell you want to be.  Even if it involves Nutella.